REVIEW: Golf

Game: Golf
Original Launch: October 1985
Relaunch: November 2010
Rating: 6 Stars


Golf on the NES is a game where a Mario knock-off guy tries to hit a tiny ball into a tiny hole 18 times. In keeping with the spirit of the links (the grassy kind, not Zelda’s boyfriend) I will attempt to review this game in scorecard format.

Above Par

+ Golf has an excellent club selection with 14 clubs. All your irons, woods, wedges and a putter are represented.

+ Have you played Wii Sports Golf? Then you will recognize the course right away. The 9 holes of Wii Sports golf are based on the holes from NES Golf.

ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?!?!?!

+ Timing the swing was tricky enough to be consistently challenging. Adjusting the force of your club swing never feels unfair.

+ The first time I actually hit par on a hole was oddly thrilling. Pulling off the shot you want is a rewarding experience.

+ Intuitive enough that a non-sports gamer like myself felt comfortable with the interface after the first hole.

+ Aiming putts is consistent and accurate. I wish I could putt this well in Wii Sports Golf.

+ Two player mode is fun and competitive.

+ Fills the elusive “Games my Mom Could Play” niche.

+ Mario! Sort of. Because the features aren't quite spot on it feels like Mario concept art and that gives it some small degree of street cred.


In the Rough

- Golf?! Really?! That’s the best name the chimps in marketing could come up with?

- The course design feels random. Often you will find the fairway to be a series of islands.

A course is a course, of course, of course.

- There is a line of trees to indicate the Out of Bounds line, but beyond that is all blackness. It’s like the Langoliers ate the rest of the world.

- There is no distance indicator/estimator built into the interface. The only way you know how far your stroke of any given club will go is by your own experience.

- The lack of a running score card makes it difficult to chart your progress per hole.

- The view of Mario swinging the club is useless. The change in terrain that shows at his feet seems random and does not add any new information to the screen.

- The aiming for the drives and chips is horrible. Why not use the excellent aiming present when putting?

- Since the game is turn based, they could have implemented 4 players easily by sharing a single controller. This would have really helped since sports games tend to be more fun in groups.

- No in-game music. And a congratulatory theme after each hole would have been nice. Sound is sparse.

Slow, SLOW DOWN, WHY WON'T YOU STOP ROLLING!!

I believe Mark Twain defined Golf video games as good sit spoiled. This prototypical Golf game seems to hit birdies and bogies in equal number. It would make sense to score this game right down the middle, but the fun factor counts for a lot. Even though I had decided before I started that I was going to hate this game, I ended up having a lot of fun with it. I can see myself coming back to Golf in the future. One could do worse than to spend some time with Golf.



Review in a Haiku
Swing, cheer, swing, grumble,
Swing, swear, swing, throw controller,
Swing, sigh, putt, putt, plop.