Here is a compilation of all of our Nintendo Review Haiku.
10-Yard Fight
Diagonal lines:
Run in them, and you will score.
Computer is dumb.
Baseball
Errors in the field,
Overshadowing the game,
It is a damn shame.
Clu Clu Land
Try to play Pac Man
Blindfolded and with your feet.
Behold! Clu Clu Land!
Donkey Kong Jr.
Must rescue my Dad!
That banana's not worth it.
This level again?
Donkey Kong Jr. Math
Monkeys doing math,
disguised as an arcade game,
It's Edutainment!
Duck Hunt
Blast ducks from the sky!
Miss, and the dog laughs at you.
Light gun won't kill him.
Excitebike
Don't follow too close,
Or I will knock your ass down,
Again and again.
Golf
Swing, cheer, swing, grumble,
Swing, swear, swing, throw controller,
Swing, sigh, putt, putt, plop.
Gyromite
ROB the plastic bot
Helps the scientist venture;
I need some real friends.
Hogan's Alley
Shooting and snoozing.
Self-inflicted light gun wounds.
Thank god for the cans.
Ice Climber
Thirty-two mountains,
many impossible jumps;
Cold madness prevails.
Kung Fu
Those damn ceiling balls,
Falling and exposing snakes.
Someone call PETA!
Mach Rider
The roads are a mess;
Obstacles everywhere.
Cannonballs? The hell?
Pinball
Silverball staple
of the old-school arcade scene,
average at best here.
Stack-Up
Stack-Up is such shit;
It isn't a game at all.
Stupid tech demo.
Super Mario Bros.
Thank you, Mario.
Twenty five years of castles
and no end in sight.
Tennis
My shot was in bounds,
What a shock...you called it out,
Screw you, Mario.
Wrecking Crew
"Under construction"?
That's just an invitation
to smash everything.
