Nintendo Relaunch: REVIEW: Kung Fu

Game: Kung Fu
Original Launch: October 1985
Relaunch: October 2010
Rating: 7 Stars

Kung Fu for the NES is a side-scrolling beat’em up where you take on the role of a martial artist Thomas, out to save his kidnapped girlfriend Sylvia from "Mr.X." Mr X is a very bad man that kidnaps women.

Kung Fu is an arcade port of Kung Fu Master. I’ve played the arcade version, and I have to say that I prefer the NES version. The arcade version featured a tall, lanky hero who, to me, was lethargic in comparison to the hero of the NES Kung Fu. Also, due to the size of the arcade character, there was slightly less of the level shown on screen. The NES version better has tighter controls, and the animation appears faster, giving the game play a more robust feel.

*Yea, I'm awesome. So awesome, the next thug is going to hug me.*

The game has you ascending the five floors of the Mr. X’s hideout in order to save your Sylvia. The levels are populated by various goons: tall men, short men, and knife-throwers. The knife-throwers throw either high or low, so some patience is required in vanquishing them. Some floors have decorative balls that fall from the ceiling, containing either snakes, dragons, or ninja stars. I haven't seen that many martial arts movies, but I'm left to assume that snakes and dragons in baskets must be a staple. I know that ninja stars are. One floor has holes on the walls, out of which killer moths fly. I think my fear of flying insects was spawned by this game.

Each floor has a mini-boss guarding the stairs. Each boss has his own fighting style, which made each encounter interesting. The first floor boss has a staff, which is pretty easy to avoid. On the second floor, the boss throws two boomerangs, which dish out heinous damage. The boss of floor three is a tall, bald black guy that will kick the shit out of you in like two hits. The fourth floor is guarded by a short troll who's head disappears (OHMYGOD) when kicked. Pro tip: kneel and punch. The fifth and final floor is the home of Mr. X. Although very cool looking, he's kind of a puss. Two jump-kicks to the head and BAM, he's off the ledge.

Your attacks are kick and punch, with the ability to place a well-timed jump kick. The jump kick can knock out floating or flying enemies, along with taking out multiple goons, if they are lined up close enough. Punching has a shorter range, but you get 200 points per hit as opposed to 100, making it advantageous to racking up a high score. Punching has the advantage of being a faster attack, though.

*I'm tired of these motherfucking snakes on my motherfucking head.*

The game has good play control, and the graphics are solid. I like the sound effects; each one fits well to the corresponding event, such as the hero’s Hyyahh! with each kick/punch, to the sound of a ball popping on the floor and snake squeeking out. The background music is good fit to the motif, as well. There's a constant sense of urgency throughout the game. Regarding replay, once you defeat Mr. X, the game starts over with increased difficulty. It makes for a good arcade-style challenge.

Kung Fu stands the test of time. Getting a feel for the game leads to gratifying moments, such as jump-kicking two tall stooges, sailing over the short one in the middle, landing and low-kicking the shit out of a knife-thrower. Just like real life.