REVIEW: Baseball

Game: Baseball
Original Launch: October 1985
Relaunch: November 2010
Rating: 6 stars

Don't say they didn't warn you

The NES launched in America with several sports games: Football, Tennis, Golf, and Baseball. Baseball might be the best of the bunch. It has a fair amount of issues, for sure; but the controls are fairly in depth for a sports game of its time, and the multiplayer can be pretty fun.

Baseball has one mode: a 9-inning exhibition game that you can either play against the computer or a friend. You can choose from one of six teams: A, C, D, P, R, or Y.

The old school rivalry: A vs R

The letters are supposed to represent the Athletics, Cardinals, Dodgers, Phillies, Royals, and Yankees. No specific players are mentioned in the game, however the color schemes for each team are about right.

Pitching is my favorite part of the game, even though it can be frustrating at times. You have four pitches to choose from (fastball, changeup, curve, and screwball), and you can actually move the pitch left and right after you throw the ball. You can even try to pick off the baserunners, though I've never been successful. (On the other hand, every time I even think of stealing a base, the computer picks me off.) If you make a mistake or throw the ball right down the middle, the computer will usually make you pay. And similar to Nintendo's Tennis game, if the ball is out of the strike zone, the computer will rarely swing at it.

This ball hit me in the face, and I still swung

Hitting is pretty simple. Swing the bat, hit the ball. You can stop your swing halfway to try to bunt. The timing of your swing determines where you hit the ball. Unlike the computer, who's plate discipline is uncanny, I will swing at pretty much every piece of crap they throw. [SPORTS JOKE ALERT] If the computer is Tony Gwynn, I am Mario Mendoza.

So far, this game sounds pretty good, right? That's because we haven't talked about the fielding yet. Sweet Sammy Sosa, the fielding is atrocious in this game. There were times I wasn't even positive my controller was plugged in. The developers even knew the fielding mechanisms were terrible, but apparently, they figured this disclaimer would be good enough:



I really can't tell you how annoying the fielding is. If the computer's hit made it into the outfield, the ball invariably rolled past my guys all the way to the wall. Then I just ran in circles like a bumbling idiot while the computer circled the bases. Is the computer controlling my defenders? Am I controlling the left fielder or the center fielder? Do I have a mental disability? I honestly don't know after playing this game.

The two player mode is much more enjoyable. The fielding is still just as terrible, but at least you're both swinging at balls in the dirt and getting inside-the-park home runs on grounders to the short stop. The game kind of drags on, especially with no music (except during home runs) and few sound effects. Expect to take the better part of an hour to play one game.

Game set, team P!

Baseball for NES got a lot of things right. The pitching and hitting set the bar for games to come like R.B.I. Baseball and Baseball Stars. I love that you can choose from some actual MLB teams, even if it doesn't really mean anything. Unfortunately, the fielding is so bad, Baseball loses most of its replay value.




Review in a Haiku
Errors in the field,
Overshadowing the game,
It is a damn shame.

Coming soon...Wrecking Crew!

REVIEW: Clu Clu Land

Game:Clu Clu Land
Original Launch: October 1985
Relaunch: November 2010
Rating: 5 Stars



When I was a kid, I honestly thought this game was about the dudes with the white pointy hats. I mean it always struck me as kind of odd that they would have their own game, and I kind of assumed they were the bad guys in said game...but I didn’t get the plumber-mushroom-turtle connection with Mario either so I just wrote it off as one of those strange Japanese things. It turns out the hat guys have a slightly different name, and Clu Clu Land is actually about Bubbles the Bubblefish trying to recover the treasure of the sea kingdom from some jerk face sea urchins called the Unira.

Clu Clu review, Mrs. Robinson.

The catch is that the treasure is invisible and you are being chased by the angry sea urchin critters. You run all over the field and trip over the gold bars (which look like Rupees from Zelda) by chance. Typically the treasure is laid out in a symmetrical pattern to make a picture so that once you find enough, you can estimate the rest by anticipating the design. Clu Clu Land plays a bit like a wide open version of Pac Man if all the dots and the occasional obstacles were invisible. You can stun the enemies with your Sound Wave (sea urchin have ears?) and crush them into walls for bonus points.

Avoid the Unira. Which are probably contagious.

The hook to the game play is the directional control. When you change direction, you hang an arm out to grab hold the poles that make up the grid and spin yourself around. You can tap the D Pad to make a quick turn, or hold it down to spin around and around. This is probably the most original feature of the game, and while I found it to be originally quite off-putting, I grew to appreciate the strategy that it added. You can’t just head off to the other side of the screen, you have to plan a path based on obstacle and enemy locations and use careful timing to pull it off successfully. That being said, the control is never quite intuitive and causes more deaths than the enemies do.

Clu Clu Land on cards?! What a deal!

What replay value that Clu Clu Land has comes from trying to top your previous high score. This may be fine for old school gamers, but don’t look for an ending to this one. The game has 22 levels and if you can get that far, it repeats with having to run over each bar twice. There is also some fun to be had with two player mode which is simultaneous. Trying to score higher than player two leads you to take more chances and is generally more fun than playing by yourself, but not by much.

Clu Clu Land is the first NES entry into the maze game genre. However, Pac Man is still the biggest shark in that pond, and when you compare the two games side to side, Clu Clu loses badly. This is one of those times when the designers go out on a limb and try something new and it doesn’t quite pan out. On its own, it was a fun diversion that manages to be briefly amusing despite the handicap of its controls scheme.



Review in a Haiku
Try to play Pac Man
Blindfolded and with your feet.
Behold! Clu Clu Land!

Duck Hunt shirt

Woot has a cool Duck Hunt shirt for sale (today only!) for $10.

Play It: Wrecking Crew

To prepare for tomorrow's review, play the underrated puzzle game Wrecking Crew.

REVIEW: 10-Yard Fight

Game: 10-Yard Fight
Original Launch: October 1985
Relaunch: November 2010
Rating: 2 stars


Sometimes there are some games that come along,
These games aren't very fun or very strong,
They need to be reviewed; all of them do,
But we don't want to bore with the review,
So in an effort to help you tonight,
In iambic verse is how I'll write:

There are five difficulties in this game,
While they grow strong, your skill remains the same,
In order to advance to the next round,
A touchdown is the goal that must be found.

There is no point in attempting a pass,
The defense always intercepts your ass,
If they are even slightly in your way,
They pick the ball; they always make you pay.

Not only is he humping my face, he is also intercepting my pass.

There are occasions when they're kind of dumb,
Like on kickoffs or just a simple run,
Criss-cross the field, run backwards if you must,
They won't catch you; they will just eat your dust.

Pro tip: run all the way to the left, then block them all at once.

Though you can beat all of the other guys,
There is one thing you do that I despise:
It's like your cleats are filled with lead or stone,
You move so slow, it makes me have to groan.

Frustration is the theme of 10-Yard Fight,
It's rarely fun and doesn't get much right,
With so much wrong with it, it isn't whole,
I cannot wait till I play Tecmo Bowl.




Review in a Haiku
Diagonal lines:
Run in them, and you will score.
Computer is dumb.

25th Anniversary Super Mario Brothers Cake

The cake makers at Pink Cake Box have made the best Mario cake you'll probably ever see.









Shigeru Miyamoto cut the cake in Rockefeller Center, celebrating Nintendo's 25th anniversary: